Took the scenic kraut, totally worth the pit stop.

On that particular day, Lil Links Laura, WEENR and I were the only living souls admiring the beautiful landscape in Utah. The deep canyons resonated with boisterous echoes when we honked WEENR’s horn and tooted on our Wiener Whistles.  I’m surprised we didn’t cause an avalanche.  Or at the very least, wake a hibernating creature.

Two humble survivors of Devils Canyon.

Despite the snow and mountainous terrain, I would say that the most chilling sight in Devils Canyon was a single dignified Joshua Tree, alone in the cold, isolated desert.  For years, I thought this particular species was a mere fable because I had never seen one in my 22 years.  Rumor has it, U2 even named their fifth studio album Joshua Tree because this particular species symbolizes the American Dream of independence, strength and integrity.  So imagine my bewilderment and incredulity upon finally seeing such a benevolent, meaningful specimen.  I’ve finally found what I’m looking for!

Like the Wienermobile, mythical Joshua Trees DO exist?!?!

Thus far, I have visited over twenty states in the continental US with my trusty Wienermobile, WEENR. However, after eight eventful months of cross-country travel, I ceremoniously returned to my charming birthplace – Arlington, Texas.

My hometown is often referred to as ArlingFUN because of the Texas Rangers baseball stadium and the Six Flags Over Texas amusement park.  Furthermore, it is considered “the cleanest big city in national tap water tests.”  A fun and informative fact.  In more recent news, Arlington houses the brand new Dallas Cowboys Stadium – a monstrous structure with an HD television screen that can make grown men weep.

I gave some of my best friends from high school their very first ride in the Wienermobile and deemed it appropriate to park my 27-foot-long hot dog in front of the huge dome.  I even gave them honorary Hotdogger names for kicks.

Meat my franktastic friends Casey Ketchup, Ryan Relish and Mark Mustard.

Blue skies, the Dallas Cowboys and the Wienermobile - components for the American dream.

It was great showing off my new wheels to my friends and family.  They never sausage a thing!  Lil’ Links Laura and I ate a delicious home-cooked dinner and left with a fresh load of laundry.  Thanks mom!

Man, it doesn’t get better than going home in the Wienermobile.  Sure does put me in a good mood.

Beneath a bridge in Seattle, Washington lies a menacing one-eyed troll.  This troll in no way resembles those awesome Treasure Troll toys with the rainbow-colored hair and the adorably bejeweled belly buttons.  This one savagely grimaces and eats defenseless automobiles like this poor, misguided Volkswagen Beetle.

An out of control troll on patrol

MmmK and I decided to risk disappearing or getting eaten and climbed atop this creature anyway.  Turns out, he’s pretty friendly.

MmmK and I and our new friend

Don’t let this photo deceive you.  Though it appears as if Lil Links Laura and I crossed the Atlantic to visit the Eiffel Tower in France, sadly you are mistaken.  Believe me, it fooled me too.  I was seconds away from breaking out my foreign language dictionary to brush up on Parisian slang for “hot dog” and “bologna.”

This virtual replica of the iconic French monument is actually in Las Vegas, Nevada!  Lil Links Laura and I took a quick drive down the strip in the “Entertainment Capital of the World” to see what all the fuss was about.

A colorful view of Vegas from the shotbun seat

Afloat on a boat. I'm a poet, don't you know it?

Tis a proven scientific fact that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  Therefore, the Northwest Hotdoggers decided to save a few hours of driving by putting WEENR on a ferry from Silverdale, Washington to Whidbey Island.

Many children assume that the Wienermobile can fly. Though they are incorrect in that assessment, they would be pleased to know that the Wienermobile has happily floated across a sizable body of water.

Both WEENR and the Hotdoggers appreciated our little break from being on the road.  We felt like sea-faring Vikings who conquered an expansive ocean (though the Puget Sound in Washington is technically an inlet).

Texas natives. Solidarity.

Big 12 alumni. More solidarity.

Understandably, I wish the final outcome of the game had been more favorable, but I still had a tremendous time in Pasadena.  Despite my team’s loss, I still got to arrive at the National Championship Game in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! I’m almost certain that I’m the only person who has ever gotten to do that.

Anaheim, CA – Mmmk and I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate the upcoming holiday season than by spending a day at arguably the happiest place on earth – Disneyland!  The entire park was decked with holly, among other festive things.

MmmK and I spent the entire day there.  We were having such a good time, we didn’t even notice the hours fly by until it got dark! Check out Sleeping Beauty’s Castle lit up at nighttime!

Pretty fancy.

Though I had not been to Disneyland in over a decade, the happiness in the air felt palpable and oddly familiar.  Turns out Disneyland and the Wienermobile have a lot in common – they’re both fun; they both revive fond memories of our youth; and most importantly, when visiting either the amusing park or the amusing vehicle, one can’t help but smile profusely.

We started at Fisherman’s Wharf and ended up in Sausalito, roughly eight exhausting, bun-busting miles later.  It’s safe to say that we took an extremely scenic kraut.

Phase one. Before the bridge.

Phase 2. On the bridge.

Phase 3. After the bridge. Success!

Our liberating bike ride across the bridge was refreshing and rewarding, but I have to admit that I quite enjoyed hopping behind the wheel of the Wienermobile again.  After all, the Wienermobile gets us to our destinations quicker and doesn’t require us to wear dorky helmets.

The entire town was hopping with excited fans and MmmK and I had a great time exploring the Oregon campus and infamously loud Autzen Stadium.

Hotdoggers posing in front of Oregon's relish and mustard-colored football stadium. Looks good enough to eat!

We also decided that WEENR should participate in the fun and fanfare so we decked him out in Oregon’s relish and mustard school colors!

WEENR sporting Oregon Duck colored decor

After an intense four quarters, Ducks were victorious over the OSU Beavers and the presence of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile gave everyone in Eugene yet another reason to smile and celebrate.

WEENR chillin at Safeway in Klamath Falls

The sky's the limit!

The entire Klamath Falls community organized to contribute to this great cause. The KLAD Wake Up Crew, the doggone DJ’s from the local radio station, even broadcast live from a cherry picker and refused to come down until they raised 120 tons of food for the food bank.

Besides making people smile and handing out wiener whistles , the Hotdoggers wanted to make a franktastic contribution of our own.

Behold the Frank Bank!  MmmK and I presented the food bank with this piggy bank shaped like the Wienermobile to help raise donations for the canned food drive.  Over $250 were put into the Frank Bank in the two hours the Hotdoggers were at Safeway. Hot dog!

A frank bank for donations benefiting the food bank!

Furthermore, the Hotdoggers made yet another contribution to the Klamath County Food Bank.  MmmK and I filled a shopping cart with a delicious non-perishable Kraft Macaroni & Cheese! Yummy!

A shopping cart filled with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Delicious.